"Out of my stony griefs....Bethel I'll raise"

Among all the patriarchs, Jacob intrigues me most.

He seems to have had a strange initiation into faith. Of course, the strangeness was of his own making; he literally (almost) had to be carried across the Jordan and into faith, kicking and screaming for quite a while before the assurance of faith brought peace and contentment.

Still, his story of faith is very instructive and very comforting, because though many of us would disagree, faith is actually one of the hardest things to come into!!

I think Jacob was a silent, introspective, morose man, though he was absolutely practical about life - he found no reason to go after fancy, whimsy and philosophy. If the power to obtain something was in his hand, so be it; if not, he wanted none of it. He seems to have been the kind of man who laid his plans deliberately and with great care, to the point of scheming and out-thinking anyone who came in his way.

And God definitely had to show him, through the experiences of his life, 'you can't double-guess Me! Whether you like it or not, I exist. What's more, I have a plan. I have purposes you cannot fathom. And you will obey Me, no matter how long it takes Me to get you to. The history of the whole world depends on you! And you will do My will.'

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God exists. He has plans and purposes. Did you think you got your life all planned out? You might want to re-think that and hold that thought - God has plans and purposes for you. He also knows how to get you where He can bless you and take His plans forward.

Jacob thought, if I could get hold of what's really important - the rights of the first-born -  I got it made for life. God said, think again. Jacob HAD to re-think what he thought he had all worked out. After gaining the rights of the first-born by subterfuge and deception, he found himself running for his life - and all his resourcefulness would not be of any use this time. Esau was out not just to regain his rights - Esau was out to make sure there would be no question of Jacob's ever regaining ANYTHING - he would ensure Jacob didn't exist anymore. And Jacob fled for his life (Genesis 35:1)

And here, in his hour of darkness and gloom (literally, 'because the sun had set', Genesis 28:11), he had nothing but a price on his head and a stone for a pillow (Genesis 28:11); an uncertain future in a faraway land, far from home and family, a life on the run. And here....in this hour, The Lord finally gathered up the pieces of Jacob's life, in a place Jacob would later lovingly call Bethel, translated 'the house of God'.

At Bethel, The Lord recommissioned him; nothing was said about the sordidness of the past, the deceptions, the lies, theft....only a new day was promised. Holy anointing was given. The prophetic promise given to Jacob at Bethel is still in force today; The Lord's purposes would stand no matter how weak human beings were and how obstinately they withstood Him. Hear this:

"And behold, the Lord stood over and beside him and said, I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father [forefather] and the God of Isaac; I will give to you and to your descendants the land on which you are lying.

And your offspring shall be as [countless as] the dust or sand of the ground, and you shall spread abroad to the west and the east and the north and the south; and by you and your Offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed and bless themselves.
 
And behold, I am with you and will keep (watch over you with care, take notice of) you wherever you may go, and I will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done all of which I have told you."
 - Genesis 28:13-15
 
Jacob now had an unforgettable shot of heavenly medicine, as it were; he was just beginning to understand what it meant to rely not on his own scheming, but on Someone who never had to scheme because He was always in control!
 
But much more than that, there was something Jacob had never thought about in his wildest dreams - an anointing, a swearing-in ceremony - his own (totally against his own inclinations at that point), as the one through whom God would bless the whole world! Acutely aware of his own guilt, this must have come as an inexplicable shock to Jacob - how could the God of the whole world, the God of his fathers, lay aside his scheming and guilt, and what's more, commission him with all the rights of the first-born? And hey!!!!!! IS THIS WHAT I WAS AFTER WHEN I ROBBED ESAU????? Gosh, I could never have dreamed! And now I'm so scared I'm not sure I want this! I had just thought of having it made for life - a little plot of land, a pleasant life, blessing, quietness, peace all round....I certainly didn't think about the whole world!
 
The whole idea seemed to Jacob so outlandish, that the severely practical Jacob immediately came to the rescue. He thought, tremblingly, okay.....never mind the whole world. That's God's business. For now, let me just have God in my life, for all the things I need to do for myself. See what he asked God:
 
'Then Jacob made a vow, saying, If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go and will give me food to eat and clothing to wear,
 
So that I may come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God;
 
And this stone which I have set up as a pillar (monument) shall be God's house [a sacred place to me], and of all [the increase of possessions] that You give me I will give the tenth to You.'
 - Genesis 28:20-22
 
This was tentative faith, if ever! God says, I will bless the world through you, and Jacob says back to God, for now, just give me food to eat and clothes to wear, and take me back to my family in peace. THEN, and only THEN, You will be my God.
 
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I love the fact that Jacob STRUGGLED to believe, because it shows me that my own struggles to believe are not at all freak events. At every turn, Jacob's trust in God was for practical things; for things he could see, touch, feel and which existed before his eyes. Isn't that how we all are? It's so hard for us to see past our present struggles at God's big picture and God's Great Big Plan; at the same time, we are incredulous that God just credits our measly faith and looks past our horrendous record of sins. We find this so incredible that we have constant trouble believing it. We go back into the past, digging out new evidence; sometimes, like Jacob, we just give in in exhaustion, saying, God, I don't want anything, just food to eat, clothes to wear and a family.
 
And yet, God creates BETHEL for us.
 
There is a great big picture, a great big plan......our little lives are nowhere NEAR being the kind of amphitheatre God wants them to be, a great big arena where He can do things the world only dreams of. While we are busy cleaning our porch and our inner rooms, He is busy transforming our little hovels into a great big wide mansion where he can triumphantly display what He wants to achieve in us.
 
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Let's take heart from Jacob's "step-by-step" approach to God. At Bethel, all that Jacob would say was, okay.....let me trust just a little bit. I've relied on myself long enough; I don't even know whether I will live to see tomorrow. Let me just trust God, and let Him provide for me.
 
Small as it seems, even this step eludes many of us. But Jacob took it; and he never forgot Bethel. He came back to it whenever he needed assurance all over again.
 
Sometimes all we have may be just a little faith, exhaustion and no strength to see the big picture. Our pillows may turn to stone. Our pasts may haunt us, threatening to cast an evil shadow on an uncertain future.....and may be our sun has set like it did for Jacob at Bethel.
 
Then, THEN, let us sleep the blessed sleep of Jacob......and God will come to us to recommission us, to reassure us, to promise to provide forever our needs....to untangle our pasts. For now, let us just trust for the day-to-day....and He will soon take us to where He can show us what His big picture for us means.
 
Bethel, to you and me, is any place where we come to the end of our own stubborn strength, our own fierce self-independence, and our constant digging in our pasts, looking for evidence to condemn us. Bethel is where trust is born, maybe as a wobbly toddler, on spindly legs, but who will ever grow into full adulthood!  Bethel is where God tells us, do not be afraid. Your future is in My hands, and it is a glorious one. TRUST ME.

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I want to bring into focus, before I close, a wonderful hymn by Sarah F. Adams, which wonderfully puts Jacob's possible thoughts at Bethel into words:

Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me;
Still all my song shall be nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'd be nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

There let the way appear steps unto heav'n;
All that Thou sendest me in mercy giv'n;
Angels to beckon me nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

Then with my waking thoughts bright with Thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

Or if on joyful wing, cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upwards I fly,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!
 
The song wonderfully expresses all the deathly darkness of Jacob's condition, his utter physical and emotional exhaustion with his condition, and his inability to even come into the little faith that he needed. I hope and pray that, as many of us that identify with the struggles of Jacob at Bethel, we will take heart, knowing God has not left us destitute, but is fully able and willing to bridge the gap that our little wobbly faith leaves unfilled, and to bring us into the light of His blessed promise for us!

The "great trees of Mamre"

The feeling of "home" is not a simple one.

Where do you feel "at home"?

When we really think about it, it has many levels. It has to do with immediate surroundings. It has also to do with neighbours and neighbourhoods. It is God who certainly keeps us no matter where we live, of course, and there's no denying that. In that sense, it really SHOULDN'T matter where we live.

Of course, most of us don't even have the luxury of thinking about where we'd like to live, on this earth. Where our temporary "home on earth" is or will be isn't something we always get to choose. Often, most of us don't even think about where we live. We just live where we live.

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 "the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground."

"And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

Sometimes life on earth is merely just that - life on mere old earth. The temporal, impermanent, itinerant, transient feel of it permeates everything.  The feeling of it being just a passage into something beyond cannot be shaken.

Abraham had been called out of his ancestral home without much preamble. He actually was a man who lived in tents all his life, never putting down roots. God had actually said to him, "Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you." 

If Abraham had liked, he might have just said, "Oh well, it's all mine anyway. So let me put down roots, build myself something nice, peacefully grow a family, take my ease." It is very instructive that he never ever thought this to himself. He lived in tents all through. He, strangely, felt, even though the land was his, that he was an alien and a stranger on earth, no matter where he lived. He was looking for some place that would never change, some place where he could actually live forever. In fact, when we look inside ourselves, we look for the same qualities in a place we would call "home". And Abraham knew there could never be "home" on earth.

And the writer of Hebrews was absolutely right to say what he said about people like Abraham:

"And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

We spend most of our time here on earth putting down roots. That's because we have closed our eyes to looking beyond earth. Everything about earth screams out to us, "TEMPORAL!!!" But we still refuse to look up beyond the horizon.....to the land beyond. Abraham was a man who lived entirely for the land beyond earth.

I'm not saying we must not build homes and houses, or grow families. I'm just saying it shouldn't be the only thing we do.

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For a time, Abraham did live for a long time in one single place. In fact, he got so attached to it that he even came back and bought land there, to bury his wife Sarah there. The Bible introduces this wonderful place for us for the first time in Genesis 13:18:

"So Abram moved his tents and went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the LORD."

The King James Version calls this place the "plain of Mamre".

Abraham felt at home at this place much more than in any other place he lived in. In Genesis 18, The LORD appeared to Abraham at Mamre as he "sat in the tent door in the heat of the day" (Genesis 18:1); and this was the first time The LORD spoke to him about the birth of Isaac, the son of the Promise.

Mamre, traditionally, was a place between the Bethel and Ai of those days; Abraham did not feel at home with the Canaanites who lived in these cities, and he just wanted to stay apart. Besides, I do feel he wanted a place which afforded gentle shade, with the only trees around for miles and miles in a very hot plain. The trees at Mamre are legendary; there is still a gnarled old oak that the Israelis call "Abraham's oak", very near where Mamre was supposed to have been. The trees were said to be the terebinth and the oak.

The picture of the "great trees" is refreshing when one thinks of the phrase in Genesis 18:1, "the heat of the day". The "cool of the day" refreshing of Genesis 3:8 had now come full circle - the wages of the fall - to "the heat of the day".

Abraham appears to have felt the loneliness and the isolation of being an alien and stranger, both literally and figuratively, in his wanderings. Loneliness and isolation have far deeper moorings in us when we keenly feel the effect of being strangers on earth, where we can call no one friend and no place home. Even while we look ahead to the heavenly city, the weariness of wandering and frugal living, and the terror of not being secure shatter our peace and take away our repose.

For Abraham, on temporal earth, there still was a safe place he could go to, to find refreshing and life-green, where The LORD ministered to him - and this was Mamre.

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I find that throughout our lives (and I can testify in my own case), God provides refreshing little oases on the way. It might be a place, or a person, or even just portions of the Word, sometimes even a song. Whatever it is, it becomes Mamre to us. That's what safe places are meant to do - provide the temporary refuge with all the comforts of being near The LORD, fully able to tap into His infinite resources for our needs. God somehow knows we need these safe places.
 
Let us come aside to our retreat day after day, within the garden where He comes to meet us....or stand at the entrance to the tent, "in the heat of the day", as Abraham did. And our God will come and refresh us.

Have a question? ASK IT!

As Christians, we often accept many Bible stories and Christian truths that are told us, without asking questions. We have Jesus saying (in what is probably a different context) -"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Mark 10:15) Contrary to what we expect these words of Jesus to imply, children are not necessarily generally unquestioning in their acceptance of things (though they sometimes can be); their questions, if any, usually concern the impact of the said matter upon their immediate daily routines, and information-seeking towards that end.

Even so, when children do have questions, they always seem to think adults know better; which, to me, seems to have been the framework of what Jesus was saying in Mark 10:15 - we ought to trust God, thinking that God knows better (which children generally do when dealing with adults), but within that framework, we are still allowed (even encouraged) in all innocence, like a child, to seek information and enlightenment, and go as far as possible to try probing the matter right down to its roots.

Jesus does seem to immensely enjoy and even encourage the innocent, incorrigible and sometimes insatiable curiosity of a child; indeed, the questioning young mind, is one of His special joys. For children, it is imperative they find out as much as they think affects them; and so their questions, though seemingly inadvertent, are actually far more incisive, intelligent and effective in seeking out a matter. This is what, to me, Jesus seems to encourage in Mark 10:15. If we think that blind, unquestioning, indifferent acceptance of Jesus' teaching is going to help us, Jesus says, THINK AGAIN. Be like a child - at least ask questions to find out in what way this affects you (if not how it affects someone else), trusting all through that God knows better.

But why do we as adults not question things as much as children? It seems to me that in us adults, the questioning mind is stilled forever, for many reasons - one, our sense of wonder at life is diminishes rapidly as we grow and get to know more; life's cares leave us little room for wonder; but probably one of the biggest detriments to the questioning mind is what led Eve to her fatal act - the failure to trust and her suspicions of God. Have you ever wondered why it is easy for children to ask a teacher they trust many questions freely and without any fear? On the contrary, a teacher they do not trust does not get asked many questions. It's the same with us adults - the less we trust, the fewer questions we ask.

One of the other reasons why we fail to ask questions is the mind-controlling nature of information that is repeated to us over time - it kind of works its way into our subconscious minds, a kind of indoctrination, not a liberating life-giving truth. Simply put, we have heard Bible stories and truths for TOO LONG without questioning, so why start now? For children, on the other hand, most things are new, and the truly child-like mind naturally responds with incisive, often brilliant questions.

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In my experience, Bible stories and Christian truths come alive and begin to work their way into our hearts much more when we receive them like children - not entirely unquestioning, but eager to ask, always trusting in God. Till we question, the Bible just sits there - impervious to us and we impervious to it.

This seems to apply universally to all matters biblical and Christian - great and small. Do you want to know if Balaam's donkey really spoke to him? ASK THE QUESTION! What kind of fruit did Eve eat? ASK THE QUESTION! Maybe your concerns are a little more weighty, and you want to know if Jesus meant a literal thousand-year reign on earth in Revelation 20 - even then, ASK!

I'm not saying I get an answer each time I ask; but asking helps me learn every single time - as long as I ask trusting Jesus. Sometimes I get answers; sometimes I just learn more which changes my perspective. It is a stellar way to grow.

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For a long time, I accepted stories and truths without questioning. I never asked WHY the Bible told a story or explained a truth thus. When I did begin asking questions, however, I found that I was able to understand the WHYs of the Christian faith much better; sometimes because of the answers that Jesus furnished so lovingly, but, more thrillingly, because the search for answers incidentally brought so much important, vital information to light about Jesus, about the Bible, about Christianity, that left me enriched, fulfilled and revitalised beyond my wildest dreams. I'd never have known the riches of it all, had I just blindly and unquestioningly accepted everything.

We take a lot of vital, pivotal, life-changing events and truths for granted when we fail to ask questions. It leaves us with a 'faith' that is in many ways not very unlike a dogma, a creed, a 'mantra', so to speak. This kind of a 'faith' is certainly not the faith the Bible talks about, and such a 'faith' certainly has no power over us - it is certainly the kind of 'faith without works' that James exposes in his little New Testament letter.

For instance, take the pivotal, all-important event of history - the Cross of Christ. We seem to take for granted that it needed to happen, and we fail to ask why. It may seem a tedious question; because with the Cross it is always a case of "deeper still" - there are levels within levels and so on. It remains a mystery; but searching it out only leaves us hungering, thirsting and absolutely breathless for more and more of God's unfathomable love. It completely transforms our thinking! But had we never asked why - we are indeed only going to think of it as dead fact - a view that negates any intrinsic benefit of our knowledge of the Cross. If we aren't even willing to ask WHY, we certainly are no better for just knowing ABOUT the Cross.

Some of the questions I did ask, which Jesus answered spectacularly, in ways that left me breathless and stunned out of my wits, expectant for more, are:

• Why did we have to wait 2000 years for the Cross? What did God mean when He said through Paul that the Cross event happened "in the fullness of time"?
• Exactly what kind of an 'experiment' was God's dealing with Israel? And did the New Testament Church supplant God's 'experiment' with Israel? Was (or is) Israel's story now over?

One of the questions I have asked, which has not been answered in full, but I really don't mind as long as I am led to new frontiers of experience with The Lord, is this:

• Why does the Bible not state things plainly? Why are we always told in part and not in entirety?

I am privileged to have to say to us all, we have a God who answers questions! We don't have a God that wants us to just blindly accept things out of fear and servile 'submission'. He wants us to trust and love Him enough to ASK our questions, and He longs to lovingly respond to us. We should not take the view that 'child-like-ness' means unquestioning, blind acceptance. It means insatiable curiosity, lovingly looking into His eyes and asking Him, TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOU!!

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What of those of us who truly believe unlike Thomas, "without seeing"? I am talking about those of us whose implicit faith in our Lord is so paramount, so ingrained, so hallowed, so deep that questioning Him is not something we even think of? In extolling the questioning mind, let me not imply that such unquestioning love, trust and faith are in any way inferior!!!! Far be it.

Such faith usually does not come without the utter abandonment of oneself in never-ending intimacy with The Lord. Questions and answers are indeed too frivolous for such of us - and may The Lord be praised for raising such persons up. Would that we all lived in such intimacy with our Lord - the world would indeed be transformed; and indeed, all through history, such men and women have walked the earth and the world has never forgotten them - they are the sung, and many unsung, heroes of Hebrews 11. This distinguished list also includes all of us who live with a simple faith, such implicit trust and love that questioning is simply out of the question!

Till we truly come to belong to such august company, let us ask our questions, learn, grow, trust and love.

Owning up

I wonder at the ones who, SEEMINGLY, were neither principals in the scene that awful Friday or central to its events. The so-called 'spectators' - people like you and me. I really, really wonder whether it was possible to be there that day only as a spectator.

"And the people stood beholding...." Luke 23:35

"And all the people that came together to that sight, beholding the things which were done, smote their breasts, and returned." - Luke 23:48

"And sitting down they watched him there;" - Matthew 27:36

These days we talk glibly about the ones who more obviously killed the Son of Man. Judas, the chief priests, teachers of the law, elders, Pharisees, the Roman soldiers, Pilate and Herod, and the crowd which preyed upon Jesus' life that day. We somehow draw consolation from not having picked up a cry for His death, at not having hurled insults, at not having picked up any of those nails, that whip. We think, perhaps, that our passivity, in one sense, vindicates us (we agree it is a small and cheap vindication but we clutch at it because the events that day were far too horrible for us to comprehend). That is, we think ourselves better than that list of hatemongers. Our only crime, we suppose, was that we did not speak up for Jesus or try to save Him from them.

But that misses the point entirely and cosmically.

Do you feel free of blame because you never did any of these things to the Son of Man?

• Plotted to kill Him (Matthew 26:4; Mark 14:1, 10-11; Luke 22:2-7; John 11:47-53, 57)
• Betrayed Him (Mark 14:10-11, 44-45, Matthew 26:47-49, Luke 22: 47-48; John 18:5)
• Forsook Him and fled (Mark 14:50, Matthew 26:56)
• Accused Him falsely (Mark 14:55, 15:3, Matthew 26:65-66; Luke 23:2, 5, 10)
• Bore false witness against Him (Mark 14:55-59, Matthew 26:59-62; Luke 22:65)
• Condemned Him guilty of death (Mark 14:64; Matthew 27:1)
• Delivered Him unto Pilate out of pure envy (Matthew 21:18)
• Persuaded others to ask for Barabbas and have Him killed (Matthew 27:20; Mark 15;11; Luke 23:18; John 18:40)
• Cried out, "Crucify Him!" (Mark 15:13 -14; Matthew 27:22; Luke 23:21, 23; John 19:15)
• Cried out to have His blood on "us, and on our children" (Matthew 27:25)
• Hurled insults (Mark 15:29-32, 35; Matthew 27: 39-44, 49; Luke 23:35-39)
• Mocked Him (Mark 14:65, 15:17-20; Matthew 26:67 - 68, 27:28-31; Luke 22:63-64, 23:11; John 19:2-3)
• Spit on Him (Mark 14:65, 15:19; Matthew 26:67, 27:28-31; Luke 22:63-64)
• Slapped Him (Mark 14:65; Matthew 27:28-31; Luke 22:63-64; John 18:22)
• Beat Him on the head (Mark 14:65; Matthew 27:28-31; Luke 22:63-64; John 19:3)
• Had Him flogged (Mark 15:15; Matthew 27:26; John 19:1)
• Sentenced Him to be crucified (Mark 15:15; Matthew 27:26; Luke 23:24; John 19:16)
• Disowned Him after following Him the best three years of your life (Mark 14:66-72; Matthew 26:69-75; Luke 22:55-62; John 18:15-17, 25-27)
• Crucified Him (Mark 15:24; Matthew 27:35; Luke 23:33; John 19:18)
• Divided up His only remaining possessions - His clothes (Mark 15:24; Matthew 27:35, Luke 23:34; John 19:23-24)

Maybe you were "innocent". But now you know what happened on that day. You know who He claimed He was. You saw the things He did. You were told of His love for you.

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On that stark, harsh hill, many stand around. Some confident, jeering. Some keeping watch and just doing one's duty. Some silently and openly weeping. Some filled with rage. Some absolutely broken in spirit and crushed. You assume that you were not there that day, because you think of the historical day.

All through the ages, you have never turned up on that stark hill. Some days you just passed by, a seeming "spectator". Some days you denied. Some days, you ran. Some days you just didn't care. Some days, rare ones, you thought about it for a moment or two. Perhaps for 3 hours on a Friday, sitting warm and ensconced in plush chairs, in church. You filled your mind with irrelevant details of the story. Dozed a bit. Felt a little sorry, some superficial sadness.

Never once did you blame yourself, though. Never once did you stand on that stark hill, of your own accord. Never once did you ...... own up.

That scene on that stark hill always misses ONE of its principals - YOU.

Because every time you push the story away, you are pushing away your one chance to stand with the truth. Every time you ignore it and deny it, you are saying that no one can care for you that much - to die for you. You're shaking your fist at God, saying, You are unfair. You don't care. You have no right to tell me what to do. You have no right to call my bluff.

You actually did not mock, insult, spit, beat, flog, betray, accuse, crucify, condemn or bay for the blood of the Son of Man. But your loyalties are clear - this story is not true, you say. And in so saying, you stand with the ones who said nothing, just stood around watching while the most heinous crime in the universe was committed. Whose side do you think these "spectators" were on that Friday? Have no illusions. They were allied with the hordes from the pit of hell and its king.

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Do you think "being 'good', living well and not harming others" makes up for your silence and complicity in the most heinous crime in this universe? The ONE TIME your vote mattered on the cosmic question of right and wrong, you kept mum and voted, by your silence, on the wrong side. Do you imagine your puny 'goodness' is going to make up for it?

On that hill, that Friday, the only innocent man in the world was executed little by little, publicly, with full murderous intent, in unspeakable and grisly agony, over a period of nine hours. He was murdered, with full intent and purpose, physically, emotionally and in every possible way, because He had the courage to say He cared about us and loved us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves. AND THE WORLD STANDS BY (present tense) WATCHING. Our silence indicts us all; it is our approval of His murder.

Over the years, there are many reactions to the death of the Son of Man; no one I've ever met disagrees that Jesus was entirely innocent. Which makes the hate, the murder, the indifference, even more inexplicable and tragic. The only explanation that rings true is this - His life indicted us, and we did not like it. So, we killed Him.

Come and take your place on that harsh hill like a man; either bear your guilt or stand with the hordes of hell forever. And look into the eyes of the Son of Man, hanging there half-dead, for you.

"Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."
- Luke 23:34 (first part)

What other explanation covers the facts?

Man: We need to talk about God? I think not.

A Witness: We've always needed to talk about God.

Man: God isn't even supposed to exist, so who are we talking about?

A Witness: Think of this conversation as part of a mind game going on inside your head.

Man: It's not very different from what religionists have inside their head - this notion that God exists. Heck, why am I even 'personalising' 'God'? God is either just a notion, a fear psychosis or some figment of someone's imagination. Richard Dawkins says the idea of God is a virus of the mind.

A Witness: Hmmm..interesting. So what else does he say?

Man: Look, I don't have the time. I've got things to do. Places to go. People to see.

A Witness: Why is it that when you think of God, you always go to people who will obviously tell you God doesn't exist? Perhaps, deep down, you would like that idea to be true? Why, for instance, do you not go to someone who will say that God does exist?

Man: Because I instinctively don't trust people who say God exists. They start saying this "God" or "whatever" exists and soon enough they're telling me what to think, how to live and looking in on my private life. I don't need that kind of supervision! I'm not a child - I'm a fully informed adult...and please tell me, when are 'God's people' going to grow up and get a life of their own without God? Besides, these are such antiquated out-of-date ideas!!! We live in an age where we've thrown off these relics from the Dark Ages.

A Witness: So you go to the people who tell you, essentially, what you like to hear about God, right?

Man: So what if I do? It can be proved that nothing like God exists.

A Witness: Really? How are you so sure these people are not as half-crazed as the 'religionists' are?

Man: Maybe they are. But the probability that they are right is surely far more than the probability that the 'religionists' are right.

A Witness: Has it ever occurred to you that for God to be God, God would have to be something or someone unlimited? Man, after all, is a limited prototype.

Man: Well, man needs to be able to touch, see, feel, smell, move, think....and evidence is a big deal for me.

A Witness: Exactly!! Has it ever occurred to you that those senses you have limit you? That they are your boundaries, in one sense? If there was something that existed that you cannot touch, you'd have no way of knowing that something. Isn't that what you're saying?

Man: Meaning what?

A Witness: Meaning, maybe God is beyond those boundaries you cannot help living by - touch, feel, see, hear, think and so on. And if at all, by your own conception, something or someone like God exists, this God would have to be able to transcend your boundaries, isn't it?

Man: Yeah....but if that were true, then I'd have no way of knowing whether God (or something) exists, because we live in two different planes of existence that may or may not intersect....

A Witness: Unless.....

Man: Unless they actually intersect at some point?

A Witness: Well, for God to be God, He or 'something' would have to be able to both transcend the boundaries your prototype is bound by, and, curiously, also inhabit the boundaries too. That seems fairly logical. Otherwise, looking at it from your point of view, you would not call this 'something' God.

Man: Hmmmm. Makes sense, but who even knows if such planes of existence are real or not! Aren't these just mind games? I'm sure a religionist has been here.

A Witness: And so has an atheist.

Man: Whatever. Look, I've got to rush, okay?

A Witness: Hold on. Have you ever wondered where you got this curious idea of a 'higher being'?

Man: Well, the idea's been there since the dawn of the age, don't you think? And it's been handed down to us from our ancestors. Over time, any number of myths or legends could have taken root that could have become the strands of 'religion' today.

A Witness: But why did the idea even come to be, in the first place?

Man: Who cares. Probably a fearful someone needed a crutch and felt good.

A Witness: A fearful someone feared what?

Man: Certain death, attack, assault, who knows. Or, even worse, someone just felt insecure and invented this, to control others.

A Witness: So you'd say it is a figment of the imagination?

Man: Undoubtedly.

A Witness: Why would man need to fear death?

Man: Because one man might have seen what happens to another man when he "dies" - the dead one cannot do anything anymore, for himself or anyone else; the dead one just 'ceases to exist'.

A Witness: Still, why fear it?

Man: Because it is some unknown thing. It's so horrible to think of its finality, that we find ourselves wishing fondly sometimes that death is just a door to some other world or some other kind of life.

A Witness: Dead people enter some unknown world? But if death is the end, and the person has died, and nothing or no one remains, who is it OF THAT PERSON that enters an unknown world?

Man: I don't know.

A Witness: By the way, would you say, if you do admit to that explanation of death, then you are admitting some rudimentary notion of a different plane of existence other than this world?

Man: Not necessarily. Maybe someone who dies just goes away into this vast universe itself.

A Witness: Have you ever found any evidence to support this?

Man: No.

A Witness: While we're on the topic, why do human beings die?

Man: Because bodies slowly run down and decay.

A Witness: Why should this be? It's such an inexorable, irrevocable process. In fact, the day we are born, we begin to die.

Man: Perhaps when a human being dies, he just turns into some other kind of life somewhere else.

A Witness: But you're borrowing from the religionists there, aren't you. Besides, if you do admit this 'some other kind of life somewhere else', you are admitting some (rudimentary at least) different plane of existence.

Man: Okay then I don't know. But I don't care anyway.

A Witness: But you DO care. You don't want to die, do you?

Man: Well....yeah. What's your point anyway?

A Witness: My point is this - human beings never had to die. If God could help it, they were supposed to live forever.

Man: So how did death come then?

A Witness: Death is a fatal virus. It entered when the design for your prototype was tampered with. A mutation occurred, by which a new retrograde species was born. This species.....was MORTAL.

Man: How was the design tampered with?

A Witness: You know the story...and it's an old one. I won't repeat it to you.

Man: Oh no, not that!!!!! But isn't it all just a story? I mean, do you mean to again bring back this cumbersome, antiquated concept of Original Sin?

A Witness: What other explanation covers the facts?

Man: Oh darn!! I'm sure there are a myriad number of explanations....

A Witness: Well, name me one that's robust enough to tackle it.

Man: You don't mean to tell me that just because a man ate one small fruit, a new species was born? Isn't that so highly arbitrary?

A Witness: What was the fruit the man ate?

Man: God alone knows..I mean, who knows!!! Some gobbledygook about the knowledge of good and evil. Hold on!!!! Now don't tell me you're bringing that in as well?

A Witness: Well, it is beginning to dawn on you :)

Man: Well, what's wrong with knowing good and evil?

A Witness: Well, man's prototype was built without the ability to handle this knowledge. Or rather, man's prototype was built never to HAVE TO handle this knowledge.

Man: Why? Who built it this way?

A Witness: God did.

Man: Well, I still refuse to believe it.

A Witness: Yes I know.

Man: Anyways, how did just acquiring knowledge make man into a new species?

A Witness: Let's go back to the matter of death. What actually happens?

Man: They say a man's spirit leaves the body.

A Witness: So you are willing to go with the 'religionists'?

Man: It's just a theory.

A Witness: Well, it is true. The spirit of a man actually leaves the body. This means the soul ceases to exist. It is when the spirit enters a human body, that a soul is born. Doesn't it say, somewhere, "And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." So, when the spirit entered a body, a living soul was produced. And somewhere else, it says, "As the body without the spirit is dead.." So when the spirit of a man leaves his body, the man 'dies'; his soul ceases to exist.

Man: Interesting. And the point of this would be?

A Witness: Well, at the beginning, the prototype was supposed to never experience 'the spirit leaving the body'. That's because the spirit always attached the body to the true source of the human being's 'life' - the creator. But when man chose to break away from the creator (essentially, that's what man meant when he opted for independence and 'knowledge' by eating the fruit), the spirit became subjugated to the soul and the body. With more sinister consequences, the spirit lost connection to its source of life - the creator. This meant that the man was now virtually 'dead', except that the spirit would be finally released when the body completed its cycle of decay. Till then, a constantly decaying physical life would prevail. The curse after the eating of the fruit was, ".....until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." Therefore, the new destiny was death of the body. A new species had literally, like Lewis said, "sinned itself into existence" - this new species had chosen, voluntarily, death and not life.

Man: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Rave on!!!! You're kidding, right?

A Witness: What other explanation covers the facts?

Jesus.....of the things unsaid and undone

It amazes me that Jesus could have done so much here on earth, yet He didn't. He chose to do few things, say few things.

Those few things He did and said....must be the most important things as far as I'm concerned.

He could have punished the wicked so easily, and righted all wrongs on earth; installed the right kingdoms, ended evil on earth for ever, and brought peace. That would have been so good for this temporal existence and on this merely physical orb, in the time-bound existence the frail little me inhabits. But apparently it was more important to show me that there is a world beyond this world; where the battle between good and evil is unimaginably more cosmic, and unspeakably more eternally pivotal. Winning the war in this cosmic battleground is what is needed; because I belong to this cosmic world, and I would be lost there eternally if not for His victory. Jesus showed up the winning of battles on this temporal orb for what truly they are against the backdrop of our cosmic existence - of no consequence whatever.

He could have ended hunger for ever; and provided food for everyone in this world. But apparently, it was more important to tell me He loves me and HAVE ME KNOW IT; apparently, my most desperate need is not mere physical food, but to be in relationship with God in the eternal cosmos, for all worlds. Apparently, I needed to be loved and shown love far more than I needed my bodily needs met.

He could have brought justice, for each person who had ever been wronged in this world. He could have ended exploitation, oppression and affliction for ever. But apparently it was more important to show me that the courtroom that pronounces judgment on man's cruelty to man is an eternal one; apparently, the crime was more heinous than the most holy and righteous men on earth imagined. And also, apparently, only eternal justice needed to prevail, not merely temporal. Jesus showed me that the cry of the afflicted (even mine) reaches up to the highest throne-room of this universe, and comes up into the ears of the One who can indeed punish eternally; now I know what justice really means!

He could have reversed Original Sin; and taken me back to "Paradisal Man". But apparently it was more beautiful that man would indeed, after many ages and after the death of the very Son of God, choose God out of his own free will, without compulsion. And that this second choice would have far greater good and eternal consequence, than the first sin ever had. Apparently, the most beautiful thing in life here on earth is that I, a human being, can today reverse the original sinful choice a human being had made at the dawn of life on earth. He put the power of choice back in my hands!!!

He could have healed all disease on earth, and given us all life forever. But apparently, it was more important for me to know that God never stops creating!!! He was creating again when Jesus came....a new man. This new man was not a being made for temporal old earth....this new man was made cosmic, born with the very uncreated life of God Himself!!!! And this new man lives forever, forever in relationship with the Prime Mover of time itself.

Jesus could have spent His time here on earth making life here on earth the fullest it could possibly be; but He spent His time here telling me how He could take me to higher worlds, with Him. Apparently, life on earth is merely that - life on earth. But true life is what Jesus came to give me - life beyond earth, beyond the temporal.

Even if all this I've said were not true, Jesus would still be my everything, because He is the only one who knows when I hurt; when I bleed; when I hunger and thirst; when my soul is so parched it needs water. Only He can truly fulfill even my merely earthly needs. Even if it all merely came down to life on little ole earth, Jesus would still be all I have:) But thank God it's more than that!!!

Thank you Jesus:)

This one lonely God-forsaken death

Jesus Christ, a righteous man who never once sinned in His entire life, willingly gave His body to be beaten beyond recognition, for nails to be driven through His wrists and ankles, to die a horrible death.......He gave His soul over to be tormented by all your sin and mine, to be completely separated and cut off from God His Father......

FOR US.

WHETHER WE CARE OR NOT.

Does it seem to you that at as the river of blood flowed that day at Golgotha, a choir sang to encourage Him? That a stirring sermon drew the hearts of the audience? That a fasting vigil was maintained by people appreciating His sacrifice? That Jesus died with loved ones standing by and marveling? Like in an impressionist work of art? NO!!

There was no one.

It was a lonely, grisly death, in horrible pain and agony, at a lonely place in (literally) a God-forsaken corner of this world. Just one more death in the never-ending cycle of death and life. Just one more breathing body just snuffed out in the most macabre way possible. No one came to sing, offer consolation, grieve, shed tears or commemorate. There was no memorial service.

He died alone......whether we care or not.

Today we go to church. We sing about Him and that day. We pray. We remember. We glibly mouth our 'thanks'. We preach it. Teach it. Hang it round our necks, some of us. Fast. Momentarily forgo our hideous appetites for pleasure. All the time, we think, perversely and ill-judged, of 'paying back'.

But that day.....there was no one to share His crust.

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We will not always have Good Friday with us. Warm singing, solemn preaching, a few crumbs of pleasure sacrificed during a few days a year. Whether there is a Good Friday or not......He still died alone one day for you and me.

I cry out to myself...BE REAL FOR ONCE!!! This is no joke. He'd never have to die if not for me. And because He died, and only because He died, there's just a chance that I might live forever. This has nothing to do with observance of seasons or mundane ritual. This is life or death. And I have to decide. ALONE. Without the songs, without the sermons, without church, without family or friends standing by, without Good Friday, Easter or Christmas. In utter silence, in the immensity of eternity. Just like He died alone.....I MUST DECIDE ALONE.

I must decide whether I really care; and what I must do if I indeed care. I must decide whether I forget this man, His lonely death, and shut the story out; or, let it in. Come apart, be undone, crumple into a broken mess at His feet. And live with its shadow all my life.

I must decide whether it matters to me that one person in this entire world really cared for me enough to subject Himself to this lonely death.....and He did it whether I care or not. If I never cared, and I was the only human being, He'd have done it anyway. I need to know whether I can continue to live......knowing this, or whether I should just die and let Him put me back together again and do as He wishes with me.

Walk away from this one lonely death if you will. I dare you.

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And one day, my dear friend.......again, there will be no one.

When this our earthly sojourn ends, there will again be no one with us in the dim, clean, antiseptic corridors of death. We will walk alone.

The songs will have ceased, the sermons over; there will be no one to tell us anymore of this one lonely death at Golgotha.

Who will take us through?

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Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."